2002-12-21 - 2:10 a.m.
I was going to go on my spiel about 'Chasing Amy' (and I still am), but first, I want to tell you about this dream I had, for RL people wouldn't understand. Well, *I* don't understand it, but it's fanfic related, and no one knows I write fanfic. Except people who are reading this, who don't really know me.
Anyway. So I was trying to get into Better Angels, because I believed that Charlotte had written a story featuring Donna/Leo and a title from a Springsteen song. And I was *really* jazzed about the Springsteen reference, but I don't know why. I was just like yelling "Bruce!" at the computer. But, anyway, I went on the site, but the server was down. Then, I went back again, and instead of the little, "Busy/Broken server. Please visit at a later time," thing, there was a big notice saying that me and my computer had ruined the server, and the site, and no one would ever again be able to use it.
So, basically, I see the dream as thus: I want Charlotte to write Donna/Leo story entitled like, "There's a Secret Garden She Has," or something, but I fear it will somehow break the internet. (And, the reason I mention 'Secret Garden' is because I just listened to the 'Jerry Maguire' soundtrack. I have no idea what the Springsteen ref was in my dream, or even if it was specific.)
Anyway. Now, 'Chasing Amy' rambling. So, I was watching the 'Evening with Kevin Smith' DVD, and there was a girl picking on 'CA' saying the film perpetrated the idea that any lesbian just needs a 'good deep dicking' to straighten her out. And, I have no idea how *anyone* could see that. Now, Kevin has his own response that I won't go into, since this is my space of self-flagellation.
Anyway, I see Alyssa as a bisexual character, not just because, well, she had sex with men, but because she was obviously able to *fall in love* with a man and have a relationship with him. And, she identified herself as gay for much of her life probably because 1) she probably connected with women on a physical and emotional level that she hadn't experienced with men, even when she enjoyed the sex. (After all, the only person she ever mentioned loving pre-Holden - Caitlin Bree) and 2) there is no *real* place for bisexuals in the gay or straight communities.
And point two, I think, is demonstrated very well in the flick. 1) By the scene where her gay friends walk out on her after she has revealed she's dating a guy. 2) By Holden's reaction after finding out she'd been with men before him. Suddenly he's not special and she's a whore. Really, you look at this flick, it's got a lot of commentary on how people behave with each other, how people can be afraid of their own sexuality (Banky, too, makes this point), others' sexuality (hey, Banky also makes *this* point), the fluidity of sexuality.
So, anyway, the girl's wrong, but I think I muddled my own point. Damn it. Seriously, though, I'm obsessed with 'CA.' Best romantic comedy of the 90s. Almost all romantic comedies are 'two people hate each, then, they don't' (side note: I have never had sex/fallen in love with someone I really hated at first sight. Nor will I), while this is about people actually *liking* and talking to each other. And Affleck and Adams have decent chemistry. And, also, it shows how people can love each other, but it can all get fucked up anyway.
And the DVD of his college appearances? Fucking hilarious. Really, really, funny. The story behind 'Superman' is worth the twenty bucks on its own.
Oh, and I feel I should mention that I'm a member of the group that goes with this archive. I was added out of the blue, and, honesty, am a little intimitaded by the quality of writing. I mean, Christ, yo, just read anything on the site and question what would lead people to add me to that caliber. Question, I say! Actually, thinking about it, it's been a week of random praise from people cooler than I, culminating in finally reading a few ff.net review alerts, once of which was a rather nice review from BJ Garrett. Mary Marsh/Ann Stark BJ Garrett. Yes. I felt so distrubingly proud after that. Honestly, though, it was so damn nice. I'm going to say thanks for that, eventually. Hey, I'll fb on the S/J fic, and stick it in there. Bird killing, stones, and all that.
Moving on, and back, to the bordello...
So, regardless of the knowledge that I'm not good enough to be included in the group, I still am formulating a response to the backwards challenge (it might be a 'Scrubs' fic because, hey, I should write more since no one else will. *sigh* Sweet, sweet, 'Scrubs.'), and have a response to the uber challenge (it's five, five, five challenges in one! Or, four or six! I forget the count.) dancing in the back of my head. And it's Donna/Mandy.
Yeah, I know. I said I'd never write it. (And, yeah, I know I already wrote it once, but that was in a first person POV mini-fic that I shall probably never post, so I can deny its existence all I want. In yo face!) But it's there, and I can't get it out. I haven't *written* any of it, but I'm picturing this scenes in my head and getting section of prose stuck in my tiny lil brain. Stupid brain. *kicks brain in delightful show of flexibility*
Oh, and since I said I'd mention the Golden Globe nominations - 'Igby Goes Down' got two! How cool is that? I love that movie, wrote a fic for it even, but I don't think I mentioned it much in this silly diary thing. It's so acidicly funny, and fucked up, and depressing, and sad, and hopeful, and bitter, but bittersweet. And I actually thought Ryan Phillippe gave a credible performance. Um, yes, everyone go see that movie. Or, since it's already gone from most theaters, seek it out when it comes on video. And the Spencer nom - do I even have to mention that *that's* cool? Didn't think so. And Larry David?
Adam Sandler, though, irritates the hell out of me. It's the same obnoxious performance he's always given, except he's mostly inert and lifeless. I mean, the fuck are the HFPA (and critics in general) thinking. The fuck? Whatever. I've seen Madonna win a Globe for acting, so I don't think I'll even care if Sandler wins. I'm immune to their bizarre award choices at this point.
Okay, so I'm off to post some things. Then, sweet sleep. Will I dream about my fanfic needs ruining the information super highway? Possibly.
'Night.
