2004-04-10 - 1:44 a.m.
It's been a long time since I wrote in this thing. Yes, it's because I've been on my lj, the blogging tool of so many.
(Oh, I'm a sheep.)
Why am I back here? Just to ramble, because I don't feel like doing that in my lj -- this may sound lame but, because I know people read that, I feel so weird when I go on my "Who am I, Why am I here?" tangents. I'm worried that people are going to pity me, or want to take me off their friends list for being a wanker.
So? To the great hole of the internet -- because no one's probably checked this thing forever, because I haven't updated forever -- I say: "Who am I, Why am I here?"
The first question is irrelevant, because I know *who* I am. But I'm increasingly unsure of why I'm here. I know what I want to do, but do I have the chops? Will I become one of those people with dreams that will never be fulfilled? Am I already one of those people?
I'm starting to care (too much?) about the future. And I'm really obsessed with what people think about me. Am I coming off as too lonely? too desperate? Is my own less than rosy self image harming others' perceptions? Why do I care? Maybe I know myself too well and, thus, can't really like myself.
I thought I'd have more to say. But I really don't.
I suck.
